Those of you that know me well know that I am of the sentimental sort. When I choose a greeting card I read carefully through the choices, careful to choose one that speaks specifically to the person, relationship or situation. When I write in the card I speak straight from the heart and intend to make a true impact. I take photos every chance I get so as not to forget a single moment. I cried when I got rid of Emma's baby clothes, I cried at my childrens first steps and the first time they said I Love You. See? I'm a little sentimental.
Being of the sentimental sort, tomorrow (and today) is a bittersweet day for me. Tomorrow, Friday September 10, 2010, my first born baby starts kindergarten. As a mom I want my baby to grow up, be confident and strong, self sufficient, sensitive, caring and kind, social and outgoing, faithful and loving...among so many other things! But at the same time I want to hold my baby, young and small, soft and sweet, sleeping and peaceful...forever. Kindergarten is a milestone, for me, Tim and Emma. It means my baby is growing up, she's becoming independent and she's spreading her wings.
Emma wants to ride the bus and, though I never said she could, assumed that's what kindergarteners do. I don't think I rode the bus until I was in 9th grade! I naturally planned to take Emma to school, to bake cookies while she was gone and to pick her up and bring her home. This is what my mom did. I remember this fondly and wanted to do the same for my babies. Emma is feeling bold and adventurous. I have to let her ride the bus as not to let my fears and hesitation effect her. I'm a little nervous to entrust her to someone I don't know, someone I've never met. I mean, I've met her teacher twice already but I've never met her bus drivers, the ones entrusted to get her safely to and from school! Okay, deep breath, chill out...
Tommorrow is a milestone and it's bittersweet.
The Nold Family 4!
2 comments:
Oh girl...I'm choked up for you! Bittersweet indeed. I'm with you, swallowing a lump in my throat when each of my children got their first tooth - knowing I would never see that "gummy smile" again (pictures aside). And for the record, there is nothing wrong with being "that Mom"...you know, the one that allows her child to get on the bus, but promptly jumps in her car to follow it to school. You are the perfect Mom for your Emma and I am confident she will look back fondly on the memories you make with her this year, even if they look slightly different from those you made as a child.
Jenny, I so remember ALL of those feelings when my first went to school. What if she got lost at school or couldn't find her way to the bathroom or back to class? Would she have enough time to eat her lunch? How would she know which bus was the right one? ... It's become easier for me to let my younger ones go to K.
On the other hand my oldest baby started high school this year - and I found I had many of the exact same emotions and fears as when she started kindergarten.
It's a little bit of letting go and I think it's always kinda hard.
(BTW, I still have some of my kid's baby clothes - a couple from each of them that I just can't bear to get rid of.)
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