To Reminisce

I'm thinking back 5 years. Sometimes 5 years seems like a really long time, but right now it seems like it was just yesterday. What was I doing at this moment in 2005? I was probably trying to calm a restless, crying baby. Or maybe I was moving ever so slowly, gently trying to place her in her bed without waking her. The "her" I speak of is Emma, our first born, beautiful baby girl.

5 years ago was just the beginning of our journey as parents and was just the beginning of our family. I couldn't imagine what life had in store for us or how our life would change. I couldn't imagine who this little baby girl would turn out to be, who she would look like, what her personality would be, her likes and dislikes. I was ever consumed by the newness of being a mom and terrified that I wouldn't know what to do.

Things haven't changed too much. I don't spend much time calming a restless, crying little girl and Emma goes to bed well, no longer needing the persistent rocking and bouncing. I know now how our life has changed and understand that it will continue to change even more. I see resemblances of myself and Tim in her and still wonder who she'll look like as she grows. Emma's personality develops more each day and I know she loves macaroni and cheese, rainbows, kitties and butterflies. She doesn't like spiders, being woken up in the morning or having her hair brushed. I'm still consumed by being a mom but I know now what to do, and if I don't know, I have lots of people to ask and a God that provides.

So, the here and now is 5 years later. Emma recently celebrated her 5th birthday and will be starting kindergarten on Friday. This is a big week for our family! I'm really excited for Emma and a little hesitant about how I will feel on Friday when my baby girl goes off to kindergarten. She wants to ride the bus and I really don't want her to. But, I also want her to be strong and confident. Part of that is not impressing my fears and concerns upon her. I guess we'll both be growing through this experience.

5 years from now I'll look back on this week. I'll probably remember it like it was yesterday. I'll consider all the ways our family has changed and appreciate all the ways we have stayed the same. I think Emma will be considered a "tween" by then, and we'll be deal with a whole different reality. But my baby will always be my baby and I'll always make the time to reminisce.